I No Longer Love My Job

• Author: Monique
• Filed under: personal, work
• Date: Mar 14,2008

Need I say more?

10 Things You Can Do To Not Piss Me Off…

• Author: Monique
• Filed under: 10 things, work
• Date: Feb 17,2008

… At work.

1. Do not show up with all the contents of your box in a bag and then expect me to not only find a box for you, but pack it as well.
2. Do read the signs. Especially the ones that ask for important information like an ID to go along with the credit card you are using. Or the one that says we are closed for maintenance. That way, you don’t have to get all pissy when I have to remind you. Reading is fundamental. Practice it a bit.
3. Do not question me about my knowledge and training when I, along with the computer, am telling you that it will take 10 days to deliver your item when you specifically chose and requested to send it the cheapest way possible.
4. Do not stand at the counter waiting for me to finish with the customer(s) who came in before you. Wait in line like everyone else. On the same note, don’t think it’s ok to come behind the counter to place items in the “out” bin. We have enough drop boxes around the office for you to use.
5. Do not change your mind 5 times about whether you do or don’t want insurance or any other additional service.
6. Do not hand me a credit card to pay for the one stamp you need. If you don’t have 41 cents in your pocket, or bottom of your purse or ashtray, then buy a whole damn book.
7. Do not reach over the counter and think you are helping me by adding your items to the scale. I am fully capable of grabbing the item myself and placing it on the scale when I am ready.
8. Do not get mad at me when you opt to not pay to have some kind of tracking service added to your items. Telling me “I will know when it gets there because they will call me” doesn’t impress me. It’s pretty hard for them to call you when they don’t receive it. As with all things in life, not everything goes as planned, so when you are getting ready to call to yell, or get in your car to let us know how Billy Bob never got his scarf, remember: You chose to be cheap. Not me.
9. Do not bring your four kids in with no shoes, snotty faces, dirty hands and bad attitudes and then allow them to scream and tear up the office. Additionally, when they choose to rearrange the items on the shelves and bins, it is YOUR job to put it back, not mine.
10. Do not show up without an address and expect me to know where to send it. (Yes, people really do this.) Our computers do not store your daughters information because you mailed from us before. Additionally, no, I won’t go to whitepages.com to find it for you.

Procrastinationitus

• Author: Monique
• Filed under: life, the girls, work
• Date: Feb 11,2008

 Do you know something who suffers from this very serious illness?

I believe millions around the world have it, and just don’t talk about it. Well, I am going to break the chain of silence and share my story so other will know they are not alone.

You see, my husband has it. Yes, he does. I am not sure when he got it, or how he got it, or at what point it began to take full control of him. It’s to the point where he can barely get off his ass to do anything when asked. Things meant to be done on Monday might get done on the 3^rd Tuesday of the following month.

It’s so bad he can’t even remove the dinner plates off of his desk. He will actually get up to grab a soda and leave the plate sitting there. And not for one day or two… usually until I scream bloody murder. Once he had so many take out cups on his desk that in order to get me to shut up, he said he was conducting a science experiment. I must admit, something good did come of it. He was so grossed out by it that he gave up drinking caffeinated drinks.

The final straw for me though was yesterday.

One of the conditions of Decymburr’s release from incarceration was that she had to get vaccinated. We had to prepay our vet and then show up at the “pound” with proof of payment and scheduled appointment. So, we went ahead and did that, dished out the necessary funds etc. He had initially made the appointment for the day after we got her at 8 am which was close to impossible to make. I asked him to reschedule it, he said ok, life went on.

The day of the appointment, the vet calls to ask me where we are. I apologize profusely and reschedule the appointment for Sunday (yesterday). It’s the perfect day, he’s off, nothing ever really happens on a Sunday… so what could go wrong? I even spent the week reminding him over and over about the appointment. I even reminded him two hours beforehand.

I think you already know what happened next.

I walk into his office 30 minutes before he had to leave and say:

Me: Um, you need to start getting ready to take Doo Doo to the vet

Him: Oh man, I can’t.

Me: What do you mean you can’t?

Him: I’m playing WoW.

Me: SO?

Him: I got this raid together… I can’t bail on it.

Me: Are you kidding me?

Him: What? No. Seriously. I can’t.

Me: DUDE!

Him: Sorry.

Me: Well then you better reschedule it.

Him: Fine. Fine. I will.

For starters -

LIFE > WORLD OF WARCRAFT!!!

Do I even need to go on?

Well, over the weekend, he was supposed to run this errand for me since I worked.  He had told me he was not feeling to great and I said, “ok ok, you can put it off until Monday, but has to be done first thing Monday morning!! OK?” Naturally he said ok.

This morning, I’m at work and he calls. I’m thinking he’s calling to let me know he’s done. Noooooooooo. He’s calling me to tell me it will be done in maybe an hour and a half. It’s already two hours past when I asked for it to be done! Is this man for real?

And while I had him on the phone, I figured I would ask him if he ever called the vet yesterday to reschedule.

Him: No.

Me: You have got to be kidding me!

Him: What?

Me: I didn’t pay money for a piece of paper!

Him: Yes we did.

Me: No. I didn’t.

Him: It says she got vaccinated right?

Me: Ay Dios Mio. I paid to GET IT DONE, not for a sheet of paper hombre!

Him: Fine.

Before your loved one gets this bad, seek help. It will save you a lot of money on Advil and Tylenol if you do.

Brought to you by WAHAL - Wives Against Lazy Ass Husbands