Over the course of my semi long life, I have met my fair share of people. It seems as though a lot of them come and go with the wind. Some of them I became close to but if you were to ask me today what their names are, I couldn’t even tell you.
As I have gotten older I have become a lot more selective about who I am “friends” with. Honestly I am selective about who I am acquaintances with as well. I’m too old for petty BS and drama. But even with those extra security measures in place it seems as though I still can’t fend off those pyscho friends who say one thing and become another.
My current situation has me really confused… It’s a five year relationship that I thought was meaningful and sincere. Apparently, they don’t think so since a slight misunderstanding over a … wait for it…. video game has them now giving me the silent treatment. As I do soul searching I realize that if someone is going to hold a grudge and give me the silent treatment about something that doesn’t even deal with real life then how can they say I was ever their friend? To me all I can think is that it’s all been a lie.
I have made my attempts to settle things…. I have placed calls and sent emails and text messages and they are always too busy… too tired… too hurt to deal with the situation at hand. It’s now been a week and the excuses continue. Today they had an incident which they needed to deal with and so they could not discuss the matter with me but yet I turn my head and spot them casually interacting with people. So much for the big issue they needed to deal with. Why even lie about it? Why not just own up to it and say it’s over?
Maybe I am wrong but after all this time I feel as though I am owed an explanation. Not more lies… not more stories…. not more drama… the truth. Especially considering the time I have invested in the so-called friendship. Countless hours on the phone, listening, understanding, being there. But I guess none of that matters.
It’s amazing how easily people can throw away friendships. Especially those who cry that they have no one in their corner. No one understands them. They are so lonely. I now see why they have these problems. They fail at knowing exactly what it means to be a friend.
It’s ok though. I still take comfort in knowing that I do have some remaining friends1 I can truly rely on. And even with my heart currently hurting and heavy I have not lost faith in knowing that yes, friendships can last forever.
- thank you girls!! i would name names but I don’t want to embarrass anyone lol [↩]
{ 16 comments }
“It’s amazing how easily people can throw away friendships. Especially those who cry that they have no one in their corner. No one understands them. They are so lonely. I now see why they have these problems. They fail at knowing exactly what it means to be a friend.”
EXACTLY!
I have had to cut-out / get rid of people that were unhealthy for me, and that included people who perpetuated DRAMA rather than DEALING with things.
I’m not sure why this person can’t seem to have a conversation with you, or seemingly refuses to try and resolve the issues. And I would be asking myself if that’s even a friendship worth saving at this point.
They aren’t. I am not even going to extend the offer any further… so I hope they have an amazing life because I certainly won’t be a part of it.
Unfortunately I think all of us have experienced something like this. I know I have. As time has gone on, there are a few instances where I have figured out what the root problem was.
It wasn’t about that phone conversation where I said I couldn’t attend her party, it was about that person’s need to feel she was superior and that I was in need of her sage advice. When I became more confident in my decisions and stopped asking for her advice she was angry, offended and gave me the cold shoulder.
It got to the point where it was too much energy for me to try to get back into her good graces. I have found that things are much more calm now that I have no contact with her.
cardiogirl´s last blog ..It was like The Crying Game only on wheels
I completely understand this scenario. I went through it a few years ago. She was upset for the most ridiculous reason and when it all came to light it was all about her feeling like she was some kind of mother figure and when I didn’t seek out her advise, she went off the deep end.
I have had to dismiss the wagonists from my life – people who jump on and off the bandwagon of friendship when it suits them. Makes my life less tedious and annoying. I too have found it hard to make real friendships later in life and hold my girlhood friends close.
trininista´s last blog ..Beauty- I am- as defined by ME
It’s sad that it gets HARDER as we get older. One would think it would be the exact opposite.
*hugs* For you and the real friends you have. I know for myself that I have certainly not made many more as I have gotten older. However, I also know the ones I have are real and sincere, which is nice.
I hope that with all of the drama from said “friend,” your life is continuously filled with happiness, God knows you deserve it.
Kevin N.´s last blog ..Alas- The Last Airbender
There are two sides to every story, and the one always shine the most when told to friends of our own. Sure it was an issue that happened *DURING* a video game, but what is NOT ABOUT a video game is the hatred and hurt you showed for me.
I’m not here to plea my case, you’ve made it very clear that you don’t want to offer me any time to recover because immediately following this issue I had travel plans the very next day, followed by my intense work schedule (52 hours in a 4 day period) – followed by a car accident that happened THE VERY SAME DAY YOU POSTED THIS.
You are the one who sent me the text to ‘F*ck Off’ without warning. You didn’t send me a message or /tell in this video game – and after nothing but silence from you, I get this wonderful text telling me exactly how you feel about me.
Oh and those subtle hints that you drop on facebook that ‘aren’t about anyone who questions you about them’ – I don’t have to ask you about them… you showed me who you are right here with this posting.
So go ahead, delete this comment before your friends read it, I don’t care. I’m not coming back to check, or troll, or battle. Not my style.
Thanks for clearing everything up, and best wishes to you. Maybe you’ll grow some sense the next time you go off on a friend and talk crap behind their back while they’re trying to recover from the wounds you cut into them.
Joe,
Your version of the truth is so warped it’s pointless for me to even attempt to correct it. Not only that but your versions are ever changing. I sent you a tell, I didn’t, I sent a text first, I said nothing… make up your mind.
We have been friends for five years and I don’t care what happened, the mere fact that 2 weeks later you still couldn’t even HAVE A CONVERSATION with me about it tells me that on your end, the friendship was nothing but a joke.
Also, talking behind someones back is not what I did or do. I wrote a post about it, which you, as a friend could see especially since my blog is linked to Facebook.
I have no problems admitting I miss our friendship and that if things could have happened differently, I would happily rewind time.
I. Miss. My. Friend.
Dear Mysterious Video Gamer – “Not more lies… not more stories…. not more drama… the truth.” is what she said she was owed.
I can say from my own personal experience with you, you’re a douche. You’re a complete and utter ass hole who does not deserve her friendship. You disrespect her, you treat her like garbage, and are really the worst of what you imagine yourself to be. I discovered that when you basically spit in my face when I was trying to help you too. Yes, this was in a video game too, but guess what? I was over it 5 minutes later. You want to be some self-righteous, pompous bitch, then that’s on you, but don’t sit here and try to ride in on some white horse when you’re the one who is really sitting in a gutter begging for help and then spitting on the people trying to help you.
Then you try to cry wolf, again, without the courage to even use your real name. I have been patient, I have sat by as my friend has been hurt by your bullshit actions and lying self over and over, and now you have allowed me to tell you what I really think of you and how you behave. Maybe YOU will get some common sense and figure out that you are the one destroying the friendships and relationships you’ve “built”, not the other way around.
Grow.The.Fuck.Up.
Yours, Truly,
Kevin
Kevin N.´s last blog ..Alas- The Last Airbender
Well looks like i need to take a trip to where The Mysterious Video Gamer lives.. and teach him a thing or two about being emo over nothing.. grow up dude seriously or ill come knocking
I believe friendship can last forever. I for one have best friends since childhood. I’m proud to say that we’ve been good friends for more than 20 years now and still going strong. If your friendship is real, it can definitely last forever.
If your friendship is real, it can definitely last forever.
Absolutely.
PS – I love love love your work.
Maintaining friendships can sometimes be difficult. It can be draining not just mentally but also emotionally. We should always learn to forgive and try to resolve things the best way we can. If you’re blessed to have real friendship, then it will be hard to just throw it away.
Silent treatment does not solve a problem, it just makes it worse. Instead of talking about the problem and trying to fix things, refusing to talk about it just put a gap on your friendship. When a friend reaches out to you, a true friend reaches back.
I think very few relationships can last forever. I’ve known my BFF for almost 20 years, everyone else I know (not including family) has been for a few years or just a “season”.
I can’t deal with high maintenance “friendships”. I admit that I’m antisocial, so I’m okay with not having people calling/visiting me constantly. I couldn’t handle all the company anyway. Have I mentioned that I’m anti-social?
That video game chick sounds…immature to me. WTF?
I’m seriously not the one to give advice on maintaining relationships. If your friendship means as much to her as it does to you, she’ll try to work it out, right? If she doesn’t…
Buh bye.
Good luck, Chica!
Angelika´s last blog ..Nothing to say – 7-15-10
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