This week came and went without me acknowledging my 50,000th visitor. It was something I was so excited about and then as I blinked and got caught up by the world around me, it passed. So, whoever you were, thank you!! I am fast approaching my 2500th comment so I am going to have a little contest and give away something worth some money.1
Anyway, a few months ago when I was getting my tattoo I decided to venture out into downtown Dallas for a bit with my friends. Even though I am merely 34 (I know I know.. you can say it, I only look 24) I don’t get out as much as I would like to.2
Here in Dallas they have condom stores.3 It’s like wow, do people really engage in that much sex in North Texas that they need specialty condom stores? People just can’t go into the local Wal-Mart or Target and grab a few? I guess not.
I should have known better than to go into the store. Nothing good ever comes of me trying to be adventurous. Nothing good ever comes of me trying to be nosy… and nothing good ever comes of me trying to pretend to be hip and cool. But, I went in anyway.
There was a lot more in the store than condoms…4
As we were leaving, I noticed they had a ton of candy on the counter. I thought absolutely nothing of it other than “Wow, I can buy some gum before I go!” I took out some cash and noticed they had some Pop Rocks as well and grabbed several packs. I LOVE Pop Rocks and they are very hard to find here. With that thought in mind, I grabbed several more packs.
The cashier gave me a puzzling look, and I smiled. He then said to me “You want that many of them?” I laughed thinking that maybe he thought I was fat enough and really did not need to add sugary candy to my already horrific diet.
And then my friend J chimed in…
Her: Girl, you like pop rocks?
Me: Yessssss. I love them.
Her: You use them a lot?
Me: (confused but not caring) I guess you could say so… whenever I can find them.
DH: REALLY?
Me: (even more confused) What do you mean really? You know I like pop rocks!
Her: Damn girl. What do they feel like?
Me: (getting annoyed) Like [bleeping] Pop Rocks… what else would they [bleeping] feel like? They are pop rocks!!
Cashier: I’ve never tried them.
Me: Oh you should, it’s a really neat sensation.
By now, other people were looking at us, and its turned into some circus show of me buying candy. I pay for my new stash of goodies and start to head out of the store when the DH grabs me and says, “You don’t know what that’s for do you?” and starts laughing.
He then gets in the car and tells J that I didn’t know what they were for. I kept repeating, “They are for eating! They are Pop Rocks!!!”
And then they told me. The candy in the store is there to provide “assistance” for certain pleasures. Especially the Pop Rocks and Rain-Blo gum.
I could have died.
As word spread through my inner crowd about my candy ignorance more and more people laughed at me.
I was now paranoid about buying candy. I would go into a store and act like I was in the middle of a drug deal. I’d look away from the cashier, pay with cash to avoid it being tracked back to me, sometimes I’d even put on sun glasses.
Finally, I realized I was being an idiot. Not everyone thought certain candies were meant for THAT did they?
Well, last week I went to Wal-Mart and ventured into the Halloween candy section to find my beloved Pop Rocks. I grabbed 3 bags and went to check out.
Male Cashier: Wow, we have these here?
Me: Yes.
Cashier: In this store?
Me: Yes.
Cashier: In the Halloween section?
Me: Yes.
Cashier: Really?
Me: Yes.
Cashier: You got a lot!! That’s kind of… funny…
Me: Why?
Cashier: Because, you know what they say….. oh nevermind.
Me: Oh my gawwwwwwwd! Dude, these are for effing EATING! I am going to EAT them. SOLO. In my MOUTH.
Cashier: Yeah… (laughs)
And he kept on laughing until I left.
Soooooooo, I think I am done with the Pop Rocks. At the least the part where I buy them in the store.
Instead, I will order them online, anonymously, and have them sent to a PO Box that no one can track back to me.
- and it won’t be Entrecard credits either [↩]
- actually that’s not even true… I get out of as often as I want to. I just don’t care to be in the craze of everyday life in Downtown Dallas so I avoid going there as much as possible. [↩]
- you see them everywhere with ridiculous names like Condom Sense and Condoms to Go [↩]
- they had a bit of everything which made the visit 100 times funnier for me. we walked around and laughed at the different items they had. some of it made me realize I live amongst a lot of deranged and freaky people. but for the most part, it was a ton of fun, and very very interesting since I had not been in one those store in over 10 years. [↩]
{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }
Aww ! Poor you !
Yea, there are “condom-stores” in toronto as well where you’ll find them in every colour, shape, size and flavour.
And you’d find ordinary objects like keychains, keyboards, pens, and flashlights that’re actually kink !
LOL !
Don’t feel bad, I had no idea that they weren’t just candy either! Thanks for educating me so I don’t feel like a dork buying them.
~Kelly
http://www.30somethingandsearching.today.com/
Kellys last blog post..Some People Need To Get A Filter
So is a condom store just another name for an adult novelty store or adult bookstore, or are those a different creature?
Poor you and the Pop Rocks. Definitely go the online route, I think. LOL
Just a piece of advice if you ever do decide to play with candy in that adult way: Warn your partner. I can’t describe how much I scared my husband once when I had a wintergreen Lifesaver in my mouth. I guess an unexpected heat sensation down there can induce a little panic…
haleyhughess last blog post..Doodle Pride
@ Jaffer - I honestly was so overcome by the whole candy and other items that I can’t even remember what kind of condoms they had. lol
@ haleyhughes - LOL! I am far too fearful of the side effects to even want to attempt to go there. Especially with rough and hard Pop Rocks.
I’d think that they’d hurt. *shudder*
And you aren’t the only one who would innocently buy CANDY to EAT. Duh. That’s what candy is for. Too many sick minds out there, I tell ya. What a bunch of freaks.
I’m glad we don’t have Condom stores here. Although there are dispensers in bathrooms and stuff.
I’m thankful to have not needed to buy any in 9 years. Woohoo for monogamy. LOL
We have condom stores here in Australia too Monique, usually under the name ‘Condom Country’. They have glow in the dark ones, ones that deliver cold and hot sensations, possibly edible ones? (eww!), flavoured ones and all the regular ones as well.
Can’t say that I’ve heard of ‘pop rocks’ before (maybe we call them a different name here?), any chance you can post a photo of the packet?
Another post that made me laugh; well done!
Andrews last blog post..US so far in debt they can’t count it…
Are you serious saying that these perverted people changed the meaning of our Pop Rocks? I didn’t know that they were used for that purpose. I still buy them and eat them when I see them in the store. Now I’m not a prude but there are just some things that do NOT belong in the bedroom lol. This post had me in tears though.
ImitationAngels last blog post..OMG Sarah Palin Is Human!
WTH…..the most oversexed place i’ve ever been to was Amsterdam…the red light district. There was no shame…..
Pop Rocks? Like you, I would not have thought anything of it….I would have assumed it was candy, but considering where you were, nothing can be taken as is.
I used to buy my pantyhose from a what i call, the nasty store, they sold stuff like that, but really, i was in there for the pantyhose, but i had to ask: after i’m done with these pantyhose, are they edible or can i wear them again.
hey, you never know.
Naturals last blog post..How to Cope with Chronic Complainers
LOL I’m all for trying new things but I think that’s just gross. Ice that you made yourself is one thing because you can be sure it’s clean but candy? With chemicals and loads of sugar? Nasty!
I wonder if that’s an all over the world thing or just your state? lol
fragilehearts last blog post..Monday Madness: Pink for October
I bought Pop Rocks and Stewart’s soda for everyone at staff meeting a few years ago. I never knew they had “other” uses. It won’t make me think twice before buying a bunch of them. Nothing better than Pop Rocks and a Stewart’s soda.
Pop Rocks sound WAY more fun than Halls cough drops!
Have fun Monique .. wink, wink …
lol aww!! That happen to me with my ex. He’s like “whaaat, i thought you didnt do that?!” all aggravated in front of everyone. i was confused until he explained outside. lol for season reason my grandma knows about um’ lmao *ick!*
No F-N Way!
I love Pop Rocks .
But now, sadly, I will never be able to look at them the same! Let alone EAT them!!
You really do have The Best embarrassing stories EVER.
xxoo
meleah rebeccahs last blog post..Happy Birthday … To Me
Oh, now I know exactly what to send you for Christmas! LOL
Kellys last blog post..Flipper
Having read that, I’m STILL not sure just what it is sexual-wise people do with them. And that’s okay. Really.
There is a store (or there was, when I lived down there) on South Street in Philadelphia called Condom Nation. Sometimes they had cheerful folks on the sidewalk handing out samples. It seemed like a fun place to work.
Shieldmaiden1196s last blog post..Weekly Curiosities
Okay, I have to tell you the other funny. Remember the joy jelly debacle in my night table/craft cabinet that I shared? Well, after that, I simply forgot it was there.
One night I get a call from Himself to say, hey, are you coming right home? I have a surprise for you.
It takes an hour for me to get home.
He’d apparently found it, adorned himself in it (and I mean, like he was putting on sunscreen) and waited for me.
It takes an hour for me to get home.
And, apparently, it takes an hour for a very fuzzy naked man to be semi-permanently glued to a wedding quilt with strawberry joy jelly, which I’m pretty sure you could lay tile or hang wallpaper with.
I had to help him stand up, and I had to rip the quilt off him. Then he had to take a shower. Twelve years later the quilt still has faint hot pink stains on it.
Shieldmaiden1196s last blog post..Weekly Curiosities
WHAT?! I had no idea pop-rocks were used for that! I’m not a big fan of them anyway, but still. I love the image of you getting all shifty in the candy aisle, lol.
And seriously, whats with the condom stores?
Athenas last blog post..Snip snip!
@ Andrew - Why would someone want a glow in the dark condom? LOL. It just seems so pointless.
@ Angel - Seriously. I just can not imagine Pop Rocks going “there”.
@ Natural - ROFL! Edible pantyhose would be so gross… but hey, they have edible panties so you never know.
@ Fragile - From what the “experts” tell me, it’s an all over the world thing. Something about the sensation of the popping and so on that makes it absolutely amazing.
@ Beeker - I like Pop Rocks and water or really anything that could activate the popping to the next level.
@ Judi - A cough drop??? Omg.. I would have never thought of that either.
@ Leslie - ROFL! At the rate that people are telling me about it, I would not be surprised to find out my own grandma knew as well.
@ Meleah - Awwww, I was hoping you would be willing to try it out for the both of us. I am too much of a chicken to even THINK about trying it out. lol
@ Kelly - I would absolutely love Pop Rocks for Xmas. They are so damn hard to find here… unless I venture back into the sex shop, which just isnt going to happen.
@ Shieldmaiden - LOL. Well, even though you don’t want to know, I will share anyway. You put them in your mouth (man or woman) and head south on your partner. I’ll leave it at that.
@ Shieldmaiden - OMG! ROFLMAO!!
@ Athena - What I want to know is who was the first person to actually try it out and then tell their friends and more friends. It’s itty bitty rocks! Who wants that on their privates??
Are you really surprised about a condom store? Condom World in Boston gets big business. My professor even took us there as a ‘field trip’ one day. I think he was doing a student & needed an excuse to stock up … shhhhh.
I’ve never heard of the pop rocks thing though. I would have told everyone in the store they were perves. Then I’d come back once a week to get pop rocks just to cause a scandal.
sHaE-sHaEs last blog post..Video of the Day: Love Lockdown
I have a friend who loves pop rocks and eats them quite often. Now I know why all the guys were laughing when she pulled a packet out of her pocket and put a few in her mouth the other day. There was me just thinking, “oh, they are just making fun because they are kiddie sweets”.
I guess not.
I was just telling my mom about this story and we suddenly found ourselves having another sex talk lol. She said the whole Pop Rocks thing is so NASTY! I gotta make a post about our conversation now. I had her gagging after she heard this lol.
ImitationAngels last blog post..OMG Sarah Palin Is Human!
The Things you learn on the Internet. I didn’t have a clue either.
Beamer
that’s is frickin’ hilarious!! they should really be checking ID now when they sell those.
chat blancs last blog post..Halloweeny
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
I had to share that story in my google reader hahaha so all my friends can see that LOL!
~ Christopher ~
http://cmarlow480.blogspot.com/
Christophers last blog post..… And so the Brain Washing Continues
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
I had to share that story in my google reader hahaha so all my friends can see that LOL!
~ Christopher ~
Christophers last blog post..… And so the Brain Washing Continues
@ Shae - Girl, I had never even heard of such a thing until I moved here.
@ Caroline - That really just takes all the innocence out of eating them. Makes me sad.
@ Angel - LOL. My mom would be like “Pop what? What’s that?”
@ Beamer - I am glad I was here to teach you something knew!
@ chat - As “conservative” as Texas is, they sure have a lot of freaky things going on. I expect to soon see Pop Rocks and Rain Blow gum in the condom section.
@ Christopher - LOL. Hellllloooo Christopher’s friends!
Okay…… after laughing hysterically I must admit - I love pop rocks. HOWEVER, I never knew they were for anything else…. I would have answered exactly as you did.
thing is… now I wanna go get some
LOL
That is so flippin’ funny…… and so wrong in so many childhood memories kinda ways. I love POP ROCKS!
{{{{{{{ Hugs }}}}}}}}}
Monica
Monicas last blog post..Smokin’ or Lack Thereof
HAW! Oh, that’s good. I’ve never heard of these “Sex Pop Rocks.” I never liked the actual candy ones, tho. But I think I may have to check out the other kind. You know, for a gag gift . . . for someone else . . .
JD at I Do Thingss last blog post..I AM SICK so you don’t have to be
Ew. I’m totally not into the whole food + sex thing. Yeast infections, anyone? Gross.
Everyone in Texas is a pervert.
Angelikas last blog post..Happy Birthday to Me!
Oh my! I didn’t know that Pop Rocks are used for other things aside from eating it..hahaha.. I love ‘em.
Crazy stuff people do for pleasure..lol!
that’s hilarious! You’re lucky you didn’t run into someone you knew when leaving the condom store!
I wonder if the company that makes Pop Rocks is aware. It would make a great ad campaign!
Robins last blog post..What If?
HOLY GUACAMOLEEEEE!!! No freakin’ waaayyyy.. I absolutely LOVE Pop Rocks!! They were my fave candies, way back when… but then it got pretty hard to find..
And ewwww.. I can’t believe people would use that down south either.. That’s nuts - pun intended!! LOL!
So what’s next? Don’t tell me I can’t buy Tootsie Rolls too. hahaa..
Shemahs last blog post..Shemah Shakyhands..
I had no clue they had tarnished the good Pop Rocks name! I used to love them.
I have yet to venture out into the city of Dallas but thanks for the heads up on the condom stores and the pop rocks… This info may come in handy one day!
PS; congrats on your 50,000th visitor
meleah rebeccahs last blog post..I Be Sick Again
“@ Meleah - Awwww, I was hoping you would be willing to try it out for the both of us. I am too much of a chicken to even THINK about trying it out. lol”
Maybe the next time I have enough alcohol I will consider it. Yanno, for scientific purposes?
meleah rebeccahs last blog post..A Trivia Contest, Sara Silverman, And A Free DVD…Oh My!
Hey Mo sorry you not feeling well I will be praying you get well soon.
Rest i know your throat hurt drink some nice hot tea i know you don’t drink but you need a shot of gordon’s gin in your tea. Get under the covers and sweat it works for me. Feel better soon, Your sister in Virginia Beach.
haha this is such a funny experience of yours.
Leave a Comment