I am not a big drinker.
In fact, in the past 10 years I have had about 5 glasses of wine and Cap’t Morgan or whatever it’s called.
I’ve learned from past mistakes that I shouldn’t play with the bottle… Booze isn’t my friend.
Before I was legally allowed to drink, I decided to hang out with some friends in a basement. They were all drinking and having a good time, and I figured “what the hell”, I might as well join in too. They were drinking a variety of things that were not appealing to me at all but then someone offered me something called Cisco1. It was so sweet and delicious. I was sucking that stuff down like crazy even though people were telling me to slow down.I wasn’t getting a buzz or anything from it, so I just kept on drinking it. It was like high class Kool-Aid.
As the party was ending, I got up to say good bye to a few friends and that’s about all I remember.
I woke up the next morning face down in the basement carpet.
So yeah, I decided sober living was the way for me to go.
I lived a wonderful alcohol free life until I moved up to Wisconsin. The local Milwaukee PBS stations hold a TV auction every year to raise funds to keep children’s programs on the air. Some of the things you win are amazing!
Of course, being the sweet person I am I wanted to bid on a few items so I too could help keep kids programs on the air. One of the things I won was a gift certificate to Olive Garden for $75. Now, I love me some Olive Garden, so I knew it was going to be a good time. Maybe I could go back 2-3 times!
I invited my friend G to join me because well, I didn’t want to go alone and look like a lonely desperate oinker.
We arrived in style, with empty stomachs with a plan to use about half of the certificate. That was a lot of food for me since I was really skinny at the time… shocking I know. Well, those bastards told me I had to use the entire $75 right then and there. And well, as much as I love love love the place, I knew there was no way in hell I could eat that much food, so my only other choice was drink it up.
I told the waitress to bring it on, and she did. She brought us bottle after bottle of Asti Spumante. The more I drank, the stupider I became. I was singing along with the musik, flirting with everyone and everything… I even danced on my chair. All while the staff laughed at me.
Once the food arrived, and I began to eat, my drunken idiocy started to fade… And little by little I sobered up realizing everything I had done. After whispering for some to-go containers, we left and I never returned to that Olive Garden.
Again, I was forced to realize I seriously needed to stay away from the hooch…
… As well as any local PBS stations.
- or maybe it was sisco… who cares [↩]
{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
That PBS is like a stealth cougar. It bats its eyes like it’s all innocent pretending it’s just like a domestic house cat, just bigger.
And then, when you put your hand out to rub its ears, it goes for the jugular.
I actually spend more time talking about drinking than actually doing it. I’ve had my share and it wasn’t pretty.
OMG, it’s such a small, small world. I lived in Milwaukee for ten years. It was during the foolish phase of my life – where I did most of my drinking.
KERA fund-raising campaign brought back a bad memory?
lol I want to see a video of you drunk. If you’re fun to watch, I’d say keep drinking – life’s too short to be sober the whole time. LOL I kid, I kid. I don’t like drinking to get drunk… I like getting a nice buzz going and just keeping that buzz through the night. And it takes plenty of practice to get to the stage where you know what will do that for you! So drink up!
It’s good to realize alcohol is NOT your friend, but that was so dumb they wouldn’t let you just use part of the $75 at a time. If that was the case, hopefully PBS (you should let them know) will give 3 separate $25 certificates out for the Olive Garden prize. There always seems to be a catch to everything.
You know, the first time I got drunk, I did it at my brother’s house. I just wanted to see what it felt like. It was fun & I wasn’t worried because I knew that my bro would take care of me. All I do when I’m tipsy/drunk is laugh and then go to sleep.
I had sloe gin.
And mulberry scented shit for a couple of days.
Haven’t had it since.
I don’t drink and I’ve never been drunk. Not because I’m against alcohol or anything but because I’ve never found anything that I love that much. Plus with the medication I take I’m not *supposed* to drink. It’d really screw me up. =) On the other hand I’m perfectly capable of acting like a total drunken ass without alcohol!!! hahahaha
Girrrl Ms. Cisco is not your friend! In fact, I don’t think she is anybody friend. You will be hungover for the rest of the day hanging out with her!! LOL Trust me I know…I made the same mistake when I was 24!!! Woke up the next day and was still drunk….mind you I had stopped drinking at 1:00 am and I woke up at 12:00 the following day and the room was still spinning!
So… did you spend the whole gift cert or did you have to add a few bucks extra for the tip?
The few times I got more than toasty were a few times more than enough for me. I remember one time in particular being so completely wasted I could close my eyes and see the room in “black and white” – where everyone was sitting, moving, walking.. it was weird and… well.. it was just bad. And the puking, dry heaves, the hangover.. ugh..
wow, your few run-ins with the akeyhol have been very eventful! I’ve had maybe *one*, no two, no, oh nevermind, I’ve had a few run-ins myself, LoL
Next time you win $75 to Olive garden, ask for it to be converted into a gift card – then you won’t have to use it all at once!
Some things you have to learn the hard way!
Years ago, when I was in college, I would drink beer with the fellas. And the next day, I would feel like crap. And it would take me all weekend to recover.
So I finally said to myself, “This isn’t worth it.”
And so I stopped drinking.
Think about it this way, it was for a good cause.
Karma wasn’t supposed to bitch slap you like that! You did a good deed for PBS for cripes sake!
Hey, at least you got your money’s worth.
that would have been fun to watch, for me. yes, you did it for charity.
i drink at home and socially. not everyday. never been drunk..well once during lunch time, but i was very productive that afternoon.
$75 is a lotta food to have to eat! I would have ordered drinks too.
BTW, I’m participating in Alpha Heroes’ bloghopping challenge … I have to visit and comment on ten new blogs (to me) and then talk about them on my blog. You’re one of my ten!
You’ve had bad experiences because you’ve never had The Good Stuff. Trust me Grey Goose is well worth drinking. In excess.
xxoo
Aw, you haven’t had much luck with booze, have you. Not such a bad thing, tho.
In the UK, we’ve a major prob with young people binge drinking at weekends, and they regularly end up paralytic on the pavement, and this has become part and parcel of their evening’s enjoyment. It breaks my heart to see them destroying their young bodies, and I speak from the perspective of one who has done their own damage due to foolish indulgences over the years.
I feel a bit guilty thinking like this, but their behaviour is causing a drain on public services resources, cos the police have had to create special units to deal with the problem, and our hospitals emergency departments have waiting rooms overcrowded with Saturday night specials (I think this term has a different meaning in the States.).
I’ve no idea how we – as a civilised society – can help these young people wake up to the error of their ways. They are drinking so much that some of these kids have a cirrhosed liver before they’ve reached 30!!
In addition to the health probs triggered by boozing, there’s the heat of the moment sex leading to unwanted pregnancy, sexual disease, AIDs…. OMG, I’d better stop, this is depressing me – sorry!!
You steer clear of the bottle, girlfriend.
Reminds me of the time I got naked at a strip club with all my guys coworkers… I don’t drink red wine like that anymore!
LOL…… at the last two lines…… Yep stay away from PBS its some evil chit ( hahahahaha )
lol I didnt know Sisqo had some THONG THA THONG THONG THONG Wine hahahaha sorry I had to go there LOL
~ Christopher ~
http://cmarlow480.blogspot.com/
No! Not Cisco! I had it once while visiting my brother in NC years ago, and had a very similar experience. Never again!
LMAO @ the Cisco story. Girl don’t even get me started on my one and only experience with Cisco. That mess will have you acting a fool and there is no coming back after a glass or two.
My Uncle was an alcoholic. I saw that growing up and had to deal with him when he was drunk at family holidays. He stopped drinking when he accidentally hurt my little sister one time. I think he has had relapses but he has stuck to not drinking overall. There has never been another family event where he was drunk at least.
I also seem to be the sort of person drunks like to reach out to. I almost never go to bars as I really am fed up with dealing with drunks. I seldom drink myself and have never done more than get a little tipsy. It can be fun to drink and let down your guard a little but I’m never going to be a drunk crying on someone’s shoulder and making them wish they could just dump me and leave if they weren’t so nice.
Drunk at Olive Garden. Now I would love to have seen that. Please call me the next time you need to eat $75 worth of food. I promise: you won’t have ANY leftover for booze.
Olive Garden is one of my favorite places for having dinner, I usually go to the same one near home, there is always the same waiter “waiting” for us, we use to go two times a month, he is always have some new thing to try for us, he says we are special clients for him and for chef, this places feels and taste even greater than home!