Originally published at Blogging Monique Renae. Please leave any comments there.
This morning on the radio, they were asking listeners to call in with their “oh crap” moments, and since I have a laundry list full of them I could have called and kept them entertained for hours. Instead, I have decided to share some of my utter humiliation here for all of you to enjoy and laugh at me.
About 10 years ago, I was staying with my parents while DH went through Air Force basic training. It was a rocky few months because my dad and I totally bumped heads about almost everything.1 When basic training ended, DH came down to pick me up so we could move into our new home. I was rather relieved to be leaving and was in a big rush to pack up everything and go. We were shoving stuff into the U-Haul like crazy and forgot a few items here and there that ended up just getting shoved into random boxes.
The very last item I grabbed was a vibrator I had gotten as a gift from some friends. I guess they felt I needed some company while DH was away. I had no where to put it because the truck was closed up and we were getting ready to hit the road. I had a Blockbuster bag sitting next to my purse so I took the movies out and put the toy in there.
I ended up handing the movies and the bag to DH, who for reasons unknown ended up putting the movies in the truck but took the bag back inside.
As we were saying our goodbyes, I saw the Blockbuster bag on the counter. It was like one of those slow motion moments… I went to grab the bag and put it outside but right as I was grabbing it, my dad got it.
Him: You want me to take these movies back for you?
Me: Um, no that’s ok.
Him: It’s right on the way to work for me Nikki, I can do it tonight.
Me: No.. really… I got it.
Him: What movies did you get anyway?
He then proceeds to open the bag and saw there were no movies, but something else. I was seriously hoping the floor would open up and swallow me but of course, I was not that lucky.
He pulls out the vibrator…
Him: What is this Nikki?
Me: Um, oh…. It’s…. Well…. a neck massager??
At the moment, he turns it on and begins to rub it across his neck. He then decides my mom needs a massage too. And then himself some more. All while me and DH are standing there looking like we are witnessing a murder. Shock, awe, disgust.. It was horrifying.
Him: This is a weird massager.
Her: Yeah, it’s not very good.
Him: What do you need this for?
Me: …
Her: Are you sure it’s a neck massager? My neck doesn’t feel any better.
I could have died.
Thankfully, DH snapped out of it, grabbed the toy, shoved it back in the bag and announced we were running late and needed to hit the road.
After robotically hugging everyone and getting into the U-haul I think it took me a good 10 minutes before I could actually form words. Ewwwwwwwwwwww.
We swung by Blockbuster and dropped off the movies…
And in the trashcan outside of it, we dropped that vibrator.
PS – The “toy” had never been used, simply removed from its packaging . But still.. ewww.
- and still do [↩]
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