Once again, the floodgates of Google have exploded and people are in need of my help. Sadly, I can not help everyone, but I will do my best to help the few I can.
Dear “sister’s boyfriend is a loser”:
This is a problem I am very familiar with. Actually, I was the one with the loser boyfriend(s), but that’s not the issue at hand. If your sister is dating a loser all you can do is be supportive until she realizes it and leaves his sorry ass.
Dear “who peed on my writer’s notebook”:
Honestly, I do not know why you would come here looking for that answer… it certainly wasn’t me. Wait… why would you even GOOGLE that?
Dear “my feet smell like rotten eggs even when i wash them clean”:
All I can suggest is that you go see a doctor. Immediately.
Dear “my husband”:
He’s not here… and plus you might want to actually type in his name if you are searching for him.
Dear “i am in a fight with my girlfriend and i am so angry”:
I am not sure how much help I can be with all the loser bashing I do here. Well, hopefully I at least made you laugh while you searched for answers.
Dear “body smell shit never bath or brush teeth”:
My advice to you is to try and help this person by giving them a gift card to Bath and Body Works and maybe one to Wal-Mart too. I’ve never met a person who would turn down either one… And even if they don’t buy toothpaste at Wally World, they are guaranteed to get some form of soap or body wash from B&BW.
Dear “i went to the zoo and saws a monkey oh oh oh oh oh”:
Hmmm.. I am happy for you? It’s good to see you have something to be passionate about.
Dear “I am anti adoption”:
That’s so nice. I’m not. I am pro pro pro adoption. Thanks for stopping by.
Dear “why do losers have so many friends”:
That I do not know. My past losers were also very popular… but most of the people who adored him were also losers.
Dear “www. what happens when the bed is wet and i have to pee . com”:
For starters, you might want to go to Godaddy and try registering it as a domain and then maybe start up a site about it. However, if the bed is wet, and you have to pee, you might have already peed in the bed. Just a guess.
Dear “what if a guy calls a woman a whore”:
Honey, you do not want me telling you what I would do if I man called me or anyone I know a whore.
Dear “if you have to go poop but there is no stall walls”:
I would simply advise you go elsewhere.
That’s all for this week. I wish everyone a safe and fantastic weekend and I hope to see you all on Monday!
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You win. Your Google searches are far more strange than anything I get. Congratulations?
LOL
haleyhughess last blog post..Rolling up the newspaper and …
lol! where are those searchers came from? that is so funny
I am so laughing here 
I love the keyword searches some people come up with. Hilarious!
This is hilarious. I look at my reader’s searches and think… some of y’all are real freaks. LOL
You never cease to make me smile. That’s why you have an award.
Come pick it up!
that’s sheer craziness in searching! but a hilarious post!
chat blancs last blog post..Now you’ve gone too far
You are hilarious! I always enjoy stopping by and reading your blogs!
Helen Johnsons last blog post..The Cosmic Game Of Life Part 1
hahahahahahahaha
your answers to the googled phrases are HYSTERICAL.
meleah rebeccahs last blog post..Is This Really Who Was Want As A Vice President?
I’ve seen lots of bloggers run these google searches but this is just about the funniest treatment I’ve come across.
feefifotos last blog post..
@ Haley – I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.
@ Manilenya – I don’t know where they come from either. They scare me a bit. lol
@ Ana – I know! It goes to show how “strange” some people are.
@ Shae – Sadly, a LOT of my search engine people are freaks.
@ chat – lol, thank you.
@ Helen – awww, thank you. I hope you continue to stop by.
@ meleah -Thank you. I must somehow counter their insanity with humor. It keeps the world balanced.
@ feefifoto – My google lurkers are indeed an interesting bunch.
Oh no, this put me into complete hysterics. You, my dear blogging friend, are a hoot! Your searches are MUCH more fascinating than mine. Much Much Much!
I love your blog…. really I do.
Mon
Monicas last blog post..Don’t Tell My Husband.
You are a riot!
Just linked you to my bog!
Jens last blog post..Jennifer’s Jewels Fabric Labels – Product Review
Oh Monique.. you are just too funny!
How are these people finding your site though!? I don’t get anything so odd or funny.. I don’t know whether to be envious or relieved!
Where do you find your search terms for google? Analytics? I haven’t checked it out lately, I should, huh? My other stat programs just so search terms, but not engine specific.
they scared you a bit? hehehehe! that is so UN-YOU lol!
manilenyas last blog post..In search for a little green frog, we saw a toad
Thanks for the hug, that was really nice and for making me laugh this morning…I know abut the loser boyfriend/husband thing lol
OH MY GOD, this was supper HILARIOUS!
thehehee.. it’s good that I finished my Doctor Pepper before reading this post, I would have for sure spilled it out of my nose 
hahaha.
take care,
Ingrid
Ingrids last blog post..These days everyone is a genius..
*snort* Those are hilarious. Why would people even “google” these things? Scary!
castocreationss last blog post..A New Casto Family Member
haha these were funny and people truly wrote in and asked you these things?
~ Christopher ~
http://cmarlow480.blogspot.com/
Christophers last blog post..False Accusations / Nosey People
My Google searches never cease to amaze me. And scare me. I always wonder who and where these people are so I can avoid them. Seriously, I’d be real scared to run into pee.com guy. Wow. Just wow.
Kathys last blog post..I Swear I’m Not a Grammar Snob
How do we know you didn’t make these all up?
You could be faking it, hmmm?
Richard Cattos last blog post..What did I do with my Google Chrome today?
Just runnin’ through to tell you thank you SO much for the comment ya left me! You are THE best!
Great answers monique. Its fun to read your posts.
@ Monica – Oh thank you!! I love yours too.
@ Jen – Thank you!
@ Judi – Be relieved! I have WP Stats, My BlogLog and some other silly plugins/addons that give me search engine terms and URLs. It makes for a fun time when I am bored.
@ Manilenya – Tell me about it, lol.
@ Yanjiaren – Too many of us know about the loser boyfriend/husband thing.
@ Ingrid – I’m glad you didn’t snort any Dr. Pepper out your nose.
@ castocreations – I think it’s because they are crazy.
@ Christopher – Their google searches led them to my site… Why I will never know. lol.
@ Kathy – Yeah, pee . com man (or woman) was pretty over the top for me. lol
@ Richard – Well, in my wildest dreams I would never think to make up such ridiculous terms about going to the zoo, oh oh oh oh. Let alone venture over to google to see if the term actually directs you to my site . Plus, I have way too much going on that it much more funnier that I can confess to without the need to make up stuff.
@ Monica – You’re welcome
@ John – Glad you enjoyed it.
found you through entrecard; followed you on twitter; love YOUR BLOG…guess you could say I’m a good P.I….lol
Roschelles last blog post..Will race be a deciding factor in November
@monique ahhhh got you lol still funny though lol on how they found you by google / your tags lol.
~ Christopher ~
http://cmarlow480.blogspot.com/
Christophers last blog post..Entrecard, final report card!
HA! Oh, that was hilarious. What a great way to share your weirdo Google searchers. What are some of these people thinking? And why are so many of them obsessed with poo?
While you’re at it, can you help some of my poor searchers? I’m particularly worried about “we came with broken teeth” and “panties for big ugly butts.” Thanks.
JD at I Do Thingss last blog post..I’m Moving so you don’t have to
well, thats one FUNNY way to keep the universe balanced!
meleah rebeccahs last blog post..My Daddy And The Tire
omg, I laughed so hard I almost had “the bed is wet” accident
… I wish my analytics were so funny, instead I get a bunch of weird crap like “back me behind not the ready for the night you caught draught away magic away” – huh?? o_O …
Juless last blog post..Abre los ojos