Originally published at Blogging Monique Renae. Please leave any comments there.
I know this will shock most of you, but I am a criminal.
Yup.
You see, back many moons ago I went into an Eckerd drugstore1 and decided to put my smooth thieving skills to the test. I glided my way over to the make-up isle and grabbed some Wet ‘n’ Wild charcoal eyeliner. I looked around to see if anyone was watching me and then slipped it into my pocket. Since stealing that was so easy, I decided to go get myself some gum as well. When it was clear, I slipped a pack of Big Red in my pocket as well.
Woot! Score!
Before I could fully celebrate my idiocy, I heard over the PA system “SECURITY, ISLE 3… SECURITY TO ISLE 3.”
I had no idea what isle I was in, but I knew without a doubt that the police and SWAT team would be coming for me at any moment. I got that shit out of my pockets and walked as fast as I could to the door, never looking back.
Once I had escaped, I began running towards my house, taking a zig-zag route through neighborhoods to lose the police who just might be on my tail.
When I got home, I locked myself in my room and prayed to remain free and safe, vowing to never again go into another Eckerds Drugstore. And I didn’t. Anytime my mother went into one, I stayed out in the car. I knew they had to have my photo on a “Most Wanted” wall, and I surely did not want to be arrested.
To this day I have avoided going into one. I kid you not. Me, a grown ass woman still thinking the Eckerds rent-a-cops are searching for her for attempting to steal a pack of gum and some eyeliner.
What a looney I am.
DISCLAIMER: The event depicted in this post is fictitious. Any similarity to any person named Monique, who may or may not have lived in or around the Cape Coral, Florida in the early 1980’s is merely coincidental. So, yeah… it’s not me. Got it Eckerds drugstore people? It’s not me. Oh wait, I googled your store and you don’t exist anymore. YES! It’s still not me though.
- are those still in existence? [↩]
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