I usually, actually I always, keep a little notebook with me to jot down the ideas for my posts. While it is true that everything I write about is 100% true, sometimes the memory of something hits me as I am sitting in my car waiting to speak to someone in English.
Even with my little book of notes, today I am having a massive case of writers block. I want to write about something, yet nothing triggers in me. I start and stop, start and stop and end up with nothing. I have gone through the pages, and still nothing… but yet that nagging voice is still yelling at me to WRITE SOMETHING!! But what can I write?
I have literally been sitting here with my Wordpress dashboard open for over 8 hours. And still nothing. Nagging voice still won’t shut up.
And then I saw it. Right there on my dashboard.
As I was preparing to add some more links to my blogroll, I saw the words “boyfriend peed on me”. Someone found my blog by googling “boyfriend peed on me”. Have I ever blogged about that? Are men doing things to me that I am not aware of? Is this happening while I am sleeping? I sure as shit hope not.
Anyway, along with that delicious gem I discovered:
- thank you for being my first love1
- jillian the whore2
- i like being stupid3
- yes i am a racist4
- poo poo pee pee5
- xxx pics place renae6
- peed down my legs7
- how to lose your loser boyfriend8
So, there you have it. Clearly I have been writing about some pretty interesting things. I might have to switch things up a bit and start writing more about flowers and babies.
- awww, you are so very welcome! sadly, i do not think you were mine though [↩]
- i actually like the two girls i know named jillian so i really hope i wasn’t the one calling either of them a whore [↩]
- um, no the hell i don’t [↩]
- glad you can admit it… and oh, you should know that even if you have one person you know who is black, it does not mean you are not still a racist [↩]
- what in the good name of all things holy are you googling that for???? [↩]
- you are going to have to look elsewhere for that buddy… not now or ever will you see any xxx pics of me [↩]
- i don’t want to know what or who was peeing down your legs, but you need to be more careful [↩]
- very easily, dump his sorry ass [↩]
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
OMG! OMG, I have tears rolling down my face from laughing so hard! I had Phil read your post to me. The “pee pee poo poo” bit was SO great!
Whew!
Kellys last blog post..Kokopelli Wind
LOL Love it. I had Phil read the post, too. The humor takes on a whole new dimension with the synthesized voice.
Now when are we going to start seeing the cute puppy dog posts and the flower essays?
haleyhughess last blog post..Sky Watch Friday: Turtle
I laughed so hard when I read your head line today, thank you so much, I’ve been having a funk-writers-bloc week, but that made my night.
Adas last blog post..Love
lol yeah, it’s funny because he reads your footnotes after he finishes reading your posts and it sounds like he’s going crazy because they’re all unrelated sentences.
I haven’t updated in a few days. Bah humbug. I’m too busy!
fragilehearts last blog post..All I’m going to say is, “Pencil.”
@ Kelly - Hearing Phil say pee pee poo poo was rather priceless for me as well
@ haley - I am going to work on getting a puppy post out by next week. Of course, don’t hold your breath.
@ Ada - You’re welcome and I hope next week is better for you
@ fragile - I always laugh when I hear him reading them after. It just sounds so random.
How does that happen? I also have the strangest search terms bringing people to my blog…
After blogging about those terms you are just widening the array of opportunities for people to find you, yay! Who cares if they are weirdos? Ha!
They need to be searching How to kill my racist boyfriend that peed on me.
Hmm, I need to find out what people are searching to find my blog, that would be interesting.
My blog posts are like my next meal, I don’t know when the next one is coming, but I know I’m going to eat. lol
Naturals last blog post..As Not Yet Seen On TV
It always freaks me out when I see that someone’s found my site by Googling my FULL NAME. And then they don’t say hi! I mean, they obviously know me, or knew me at some point, and were thinking about me enough to look for me. Bizarro.
LisaMcCs last blog post..Stuff.
Very funny. What site do you use to see what people have searched for and got to your blog. I would like to see how people find my blog. Also, is there a program you use to be able to respond to more than one comment at a time? I would love to have that capability.
Isn’t just so reassuring to know how frickin’ crazy people truly are? I hope the freaks who conduct all these searches are locked in their dark basements and don’t go out in public! However, it does produce material for a very funny post!
chat blancs last blog post..Disordered dozing
Here I am, selling my soul everyday to get better SEO rankings for the term “i like being stupid” and you just go and get “accidental” traffic for it?? Now you’re just showing off.
Jason - GorillaSushis last blog post..Blackle, Blog Award and Beer
HAR!
And now just imagine how many hits you’re gonna get on Google for boyfriends peeing on legs. It’s going to be an epidemic!
JD at I Do Thingss last blog post..I Am Fat (and Disgusted) so you don’t have to be
I don’t want to know how people get to my blog, especially after reading that list!
Angelikas last blog post..High Five Fridays - 7/25/08
I thought this was gonna be one of those “boyfriend from hell” posts, and I thought, “gee, this is kind of personal stuff, isn’t it?” But being the voyeur that I am, I just had to read on….
well, I’m glad I didn’t have to read the horrid details of pee pee poo poo abuse! I would’ve drifted into one of my vigilante fantasies where I dream I’m Lorraina Bobbitt and I start lopping off you-know-whats!
Phew!
This is too funny! I was visiting to drop a entrecard and got caught up. You have a fun blog.
Renées last blog post..And for the Moms expecting boys
Hey! “I always, keep a little notebook with me to jot down the ideas for my posts.” ME TOO. I am always scribbling things down for my blog. I know if I dont I will forget them and little gems will be lost forever.
The searches that have brought people to your blog are freaking HYSTERICAL. I am beside myself.
hahahahaahaha
meleah rebeccahs last blog post..Working In The Apple Store?
I think this is called keyword breakup or how bots (search engine bots) split keywords in different tokens and they these token are being changed to different terms. Some times “Search terms” in my Google sitemap’s dashboard confused me a lot due to the same thing or due to some typos.
The headline certainly startled me, and for a few seconds I wondered if I should really be reading on downwards. But as I realized what you were writing about I burst out laughing, and I must admit that I have not stopped completely yet. However, this reminds me of how a post I wrote about comments and one of the posts wordpress claimed it was related to was about a “steamy scene between james bond and some woman.
Oh and, google does not require the words to be in the same entence or even the same post unless you search like this “bla bla bla”, all it means that people find your page searching for things like pee pee poo poo means is that your search engine rating is relatively high.
Silly me. I thought I was going to read about a funny episode of a racist boyfriend peeing on you..oh how gullible am I! Still though, I love your stuff, think it’s safe to subscribe now.
TeasasTipss last blog post..Something New Something Special
You’ve made my day. Thanks for the tips and the laughs.
Monique Renae -
I have really come to appreciate your blog, as it offers honesty, sincerity, humor, and a glimpse into what you think and what you have to say. Your posts are often random, which is awesome, but has really offered a sense lightness that I often need when I am plagued with going through all this serious cancer crap.
I was given the “Brilliante Weblog Premio 2008″ award, and part of accepting that award was awarding others that have made an impression on me through their writing on their blog. I have really enjoyed reading all you have to say, and I hope you accept the same award that I am giving to you. You can read more of what I have to say about you on my site, as well as pick up your award there. I have also enjoyed becoming acquainted with you, and hope to learn more about you through your writing and on Twitter! (lol.) Keep up the good work and remain true to yourself. Your extraordinary personality really stands out, and that should not go unnoticed!
Brandis last blog post..My First Blogging Award!! Yay!
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