In the wonderful state of Texas, there is this city called Dallas, which is near where I live. I am not sure if this is true for all of Texas, but Dallas and its surrounding areas has a lot of idiots. Like seriously dumb ass people. People that make me afraid to leave the house some days.
When I moved to Texas, I was expecting to see a different world… like a scene straight out of Dallas. I wanted someone to welcome me by sending me a plaid shirt and a 10 gallon hat. I thought I’d meet charming people like Gomer and Barney Fife. I expected to go line dancing, and eat cheap steaks every night. I wanted to meet some red necks with crazy accents that I’d need a translator understand.
However, my eyes were opened bigger than silver dollar pancakes on a Texas spring morning.1
The people here are just crazy! For example, they make u-turns when their lights are red. They love to drive farm equipment down really busy streets. They also take a kick out of bicycling on major roads where cars are zooming by at 55 mph, and there is no shoulder. And good lord, there are a gazillion of those emo kids running around. I would have thought that Texas kids would be wearing boots and cowboy hats. And there are a so many gay men here2 That’s not at all what I expected in Dallas.3
Anyway, because I get to endure so much of this shit on a daily basis, I decided I would do a weekly post called “Thank You For Being Stupid” which highlights some of the fun and exciting things about Texas that make living here such a treat.Think of it like some undercover expose. Dallas Revealed!4
Exhibit A
A few days ago, I was riding along a really busy road, minding my business when I looked up and spotted a lovely scene. It was a father and daughter riding along together chitchatting back and forth. She looked to be about 10 or so, and rather cute. Normally, I would think nothing of this except that this lovely duo was on a moped.
Now let me explain the situation. This road is one of the main roads through town. It’s three lanes of traffic both ways, people speeding along at 50 mph. Not a very safe place for an adult on a motorcycle, much less a kid on a moped.
Yes, she is wearing shorts, she also had on flip flops. Notice he is a genius for not sporting any type of protection. While they were riding along, the little girl would remove her hands from his waist and rest them on her knees. He spent a lot of time looking back at her talking and pointing at different things/people/places. I wanted to pull up and yell at them but I didn’t.5 You could tell everyone else was taken aback by it as well because no one would get near them unless we were at a light. I can not for the life me begin to imagine what this man was thinking. Clearly not much or else she wouldn’t have been riding with him.
So, to this dad, and his poor daughter… Thank you for being stupid.
- thought I’d try out some Texas slang, how’d I do? [↩]
- not that there is anything wrong with that [↩]
- when I was getting my tattoo, this guy walks in with QUEER in bold letters tattooed down his arm. i was like what the f… [↩]
- cheesy, i know [↩]
- i refrained because my choice of verbage would definitely have fallen into the XXX rating. i am not good at all at keeping my cursing within a G rating [↩]
{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
I think every major city has its share of idiots. I went through Washignton DC, Seattle, Las Vegas, San Francisco, and L.A. during my vacation and everything you described I saw! IDIOTS!
Well, at least they were on a moped during daylight hours, and not a bicycle at night, with no reflectors, on the wrong side of the road, wearing dark clothing.
That’s Atlanta for you.
Jacquelines last blog post..The Facts Are Not The Truth
Idiots are everywhere. Their numbers seem to be growing. I wonder if we elect somebody with brains in November things will change. Well, not in Texas, sadly… but maybe for the rest of us.
I’m related to one of those gay men down there. Tell him I said hi when you see him. His name’s Danny and he probably doesn’t have any tattoos. ROFL!
Kellys last blog post..Doodle Week: Body
I love it when the kid wears a helmet but the parent doesn’t. Yes, your child will survive, but he will be an ORPHAN because you were to stupid to cover your damn skull.
I look forward to more stupid people.
JD at I Do Thingss last blog post..I Wordle so you don’t have to
It was the same kind of thing for me in Colorado. Just a different world. At least the kind of stupid there is in Pennsylvania, I can understand.
Edens last blog post..What’s a bigger headline in SF than BlogHer?
I love it when they take the freaking tractors on the geedee highway, don’t you?
That sounds a lot like my town. Except here, they take their toddlers on 4 wheelers without the benefit of a helmet.
Angelikas last blog post..Bravotv: Reality Shows
Girlfriend, I’m from San Antonio and the crazy drivers from Dallas and Houston have spilled over into our city as well - Texans suck as drivers!! Although I was born in the midwest, I “come from” all over the country and the drivers here are almost the worst I’ve seen anywhere in the country - the worst I’m afraid are in the north east - sorry y’all.
Mamaflos last blog post..What’s Happing with Firefox, Entrecard, Blah-Blah-Blah
To get an idea of the idiots we have here in central New York just had horse and buggies into the mix that are holding up traffic without a care in the world! I look forward to reading more about the idiots there so we can compare stories, LOL!
PS your Texas slang is pretty good!
Momto4kidsnys last blog post..What the kids have been doing
Wow. That’s just amazing. I concur with the general consensus in the comments though. Idiots are everywhere. Once, I booked this flight over to Ireland and I got so caught up trying to book my seat online that I ended up choosing a flight that made me miss a concert that *he* had bought me tickets to. What an idiot!
Ugh, some people don’t make any sense at all. Being the whistle blower that I am, I’d probably take a picture of his tag and send it to the cops.
sHaE-sHaEs last blog post..I’m On Utterz!
Lol. Wow. yeah, I can’t imagine, I am not a great driver in big cities, well, at least not ones I don’t know the roads to. I would potty on myself if I saw one just make a U-Turn at a red light and be like WTF!!!!!!
This guy on the moped is questionable, I feel somewhat bad for his daughter. I do agree idiots are everywhere, but I have not experienced any of that….yet. lol
I freaking hate those kinds of parents! Don’t have kids if you are just going to endanger them by being an idiot… Can I do an Arizona segment?
I have learned in my travels that stupid people reside in every state and on every continent. When I was in Thailand I saw people riding around on bicycles with there babies in baskets on the front of ther bikes in the middle of traffic!!!
Young Black and Affluent (http://youngblackandfab.blogspot.com)
I live in Northeastern Ohio and I can tell you we have our share of idiots like this one. Sadly, a friend of a friend experienced a loss when they let their 7 year-old ride an adult atv- but with a helmet. The thing rolled over and killed the little boy. Tragic, for real.
But, yeah, do a stupid people thing. Maybe you can start a meme! Stupid people Saturday or something. That’d be cool.
Jennyjinxs last blog post..Now That We’re Through with The Crap
Hi,
I just voted for your blog for Bloggers Choice awards.
Could you return the favor at:
http://www.bloggerschoiceawards.com/blogs/show/21620
Thanks,
SpEdLaw2
Seems to be spreading west–plenty of stupid people out here to laugh at. Funny post, great blog…
peace,
mike
livelife365
Mike Fosters last blog post..A Life Without Goals Is A Life Unfulfilled
What really irks me is when I see someone riding a bike down a major highway here in Dallas during RUSH HOUR. What are these idiots thinking??????? oh….that’s right…they are thinking!!!
Ellens last blog post..My Entrecard Dropping Was Haulted Today
Girl, I saw the EXACT SAME thing this weekend in Houston except it was a five or six year old on the back!!! They weren’t on a busy street and were both wearing helmets, but I don’t care. Totally irresponsible and ridiculous.
Athenas last blog post..Doodle Week x2
Hey MoRe…I live in the Detroit area, and Lawd I can tell you about stupid!! Forest Gump, “stupid is as stupid does” lives here. Trust me.
TeasasTipss last blog post..God’s Pharmacy
It is pretty much all of Texas. At least the parts I have been through. I live near Ft. Hood and I see jerk drivers everyday. It is annoying. I also lived in San Angelo (famous from the recent polygamy cases). San Angelo was pretty bad as well. Just imagine, the day I am moving there a guy almost ran into my side after running a red light. I was going left, this guy straight. It was obvious that it was a red light as he even stopped there for quite some time… Meh.
Poet Bloggers last blog post..Salute to StumbleUpon - Poem
Monique… you’ve been tagged
Oh Mo if only I could have welcomed you to Texas with my twang, a glass of iced tea, the boys following me in their boots, a goat or two in toe. Yes Texas is a whole another country, problem is Dallas has changed since I lived there. But the gays have been there for a very long time. Who else could we have to do our big Hair? Our Gody Houses? We need somebody to do all the wild things for us! Dallas was a great town, but then the transplants moved in a changed a lot that made Dallas Dallas. The idiots with the bikes have been there for decades as well, not sure why they are so thick headed. Head South off the beaten path you will again find the Texas that you dreamed of!
Not Dallas or Texas only, this world is full of stupid and i am wondered to see them all around me.
Violins last blog post..Jagjit Singh’s Hoton Se Choo Lo Tum
I think all of you are guessing wrong and there would be some other problem with dad and daughter. She had a helmet and I think there is no need of something else. I am agreed with stupid thingy though because our world is full of stupid people.
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