The following is true. The names have been changed to protect the insane innocent. All alleged lunatics are competent until proven otherwise.

So, the other day this girl, I will call her Jane¹ sent her loved one out to the store very late at night² to pick up a few things from the local Wal-Mart.³

Anyway, the loved one was very tired, and so was Jane. As the minutes ticked away, Jane realized she needed to add a few items to the list. She dialed her loved ones cell phone and got the standard recording and left a message asking that he call her back. About 10 minutes later, she called again, no answer, she left another message. She did this about 3-4 more times, becoming more and more frantic with each call. What if he was in a ditch? Fell asleep? Dead??

Finally, Jane called the loved one in complete hysterics leaving the following message:

“Where are you????? Are you dead???? Are you ok???? I AM SO FUCKING FREAKED OUT… CALL ME BACK DAMMIT… LLAMA ME HOMBRE!!!! TE AMO!!!!⁴ I love you… ok.. please… call…”

Within seconds of hanging up, Jane paused, and took a look at the number she had been dialing and realized that she was calling the wrong number.

So yeah… Jane spent most of her day waiting for the stranger to call her back and tell her she’s a nutcase.

The moral of the story is? Exhausted dialing is the same, if not worse, than drunk dialing.⁵

1. it’s not me ok!!! [↩]
2. it was close to midnight and raining [↩]
3. she knows she should stop shopping there but it was late. [↩]
4. screaming the same thing in Spanish is the key to getting a callback, just fyi [↩]
5. remember, this is not me [↩]