I love shoes.

No… I really love shoes.

I have a massive shoe obsession.

Like, huuuuuuuuuuggggggeeeeeee.

I’d say, shoes own a part of my soul. I don’t know when it started or why, but it happened and that’s just how it is.

I own everything from flats to platforms, fancy ones and plain ones, expensive ones and cheap ones. I can not explain how much I love shoes.

I own well over 150 pairs.

Yes, 150 pairs of shoes.¹

I have curbed my obsession greatly in the past few years. In fact, I haven’t bought a new pair in over a year. I hear shoes calling my name as I walk through Macy’s and Nordstroms and I ignore them.²

But no matter how much I love shoes, I would never consider buying a pair that:

1. Did not fit.
2. Made me look like an idiot.
3. I could not walk in.
4. Did not fit.
5. And finally, the most important of all… DID NOT FIT.

So with that said, can someone explain to me why it is that I can not spend one single day not having to witness some ridiculous chick trying to walk in heels that she can’t even stand up in. Do men not notice stuff like that?

To me, nothing is more unattractive then… wait, yes there are other things that are more unattractive but that’s not the point… ANYWAY, it bugs me to no end to see a woman in heels who looks like she is walking on tacks. Some of these women look like they need to be on the savannas of Africa … some skitterish gazelle about to be jumped by a lion.  Her knees are slightly bent, she’s semi-slouched, thighs pressed together, all while she is stomping yet bouncing about in some shoes that I personally know must be breaking her toes.

I thought the point of wearing heels was to look good!

I know after 8 hours on our feet, we all walk a little funny, but I just switch to flats instead of looking like an fool. Maybe that’s just me.

Well, I don’t’ know.  Perhaps for a pair of Christian Louboutins I would walk around looking like an idiot, but then again that would negate the point of having them. But oh, to own a pair of those would be like winning the lottery. Hell, I don’t even need to win the lottery to have a pair. It’s just one paycheck. Just one paycheck… I’d get to wear them once… maybe twice depending on if I got them on before my funeral because my husband would certainly kill me if I made that kind of an impulse buy.

Maybe I am being a little too critical.  Nah … anytime your toes overlap your shoes, like you are perched on the edge of a diving board, you need to take the leap and buy a better fitting pair.

1. even though I doubt I wear more than 5 of them on a regular basis [↩]
2. instead I go over to the MAC counter and blow all my hard earned cash. [↩]