As much as I love spring… and the lovely weather that comes with it - well, the lovely weather outside of Texas - this time of year is unusually hard for me. I think it’s something internal and subconscious that I am not even aware of at times. It was during this seasonal period many many years ago that I had my reality turned upside down and began the itty bitty steps that led me away from the jerk of my life. Of course, I ended up taking him back after a while which then caused me to wake up and realize who I was and what I deserved from life.
I know I am being cryptic… and that’s something I promised myself I would never be on this blog. I’m here to reveal it and let it be told… but that part of me is so hard to deal with. Granted it brought me great triumph and an understanding of myself that I would never give back, but man it sucked.
Over the years, I have been asked to write a book, to document the life that is Monique, and each time I have said “no thanks”. And it’s not because I have anything to hide… but because I feel that opening certain doors would cause me to fall to pieces…. which might not be so bad if I knew how to get back up afterwards.
And that is the fear.
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You don’t have to get back up. As if you were a rubber ball that can just bounce up from where ever it lands. Don’t rush to get up or feel pressured to bounce back. Just keep moving, in some direction, on some level. Moving gives you momentum and some day you look back and realize how far you’ve come.
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Monique:
It sounds like you’ve already gotten back up - at least twice!
Are there people out there who would benefit from your story? People who might find themselves in a similar situation now, and be encouraged and spurred into action if you talked about it?
It might be worth it to save others the hurt and heartache and pain you had to endure…
Namaste,
A. Caleb Hartley
A. Caleb Hartley’s last blog post..Saving Money on Organics
Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re taking the first step. There are things we struggle with that we don’t rebound from as quickly and that’s okay. The most important thing is to be gentle with yourself. Great blog.
Erica’s last blog post..Biohazard
Hang in there hun!!! You know that sharing your experiences will only help others. I know how hard it can be to share things, especially very private experiences, online to the big wide world. But as long as you don’t plan to run for public office it can only help others right?
And yourself. We’re here when you’re ready!
castocreations’s last blog post..What Really Matters
I think we all have certain things we’d rather not revisit. Nothing wrong with that. I hope you continue to hang tough.
Jillian’s last blog post..*Breaking News*
It has to feel safe if you open a can of worms, because they are tricky buggers to put back.
Look after yourself
Claire’s last blog post..Forget Doodle Day, it’s now Doodle Week!
You know yourself better than anyone, and from what you’ve shared through your blog, will share with us when your mind and soul are ready. You are very strong, I admire you for what you share, and look forward to what you choose to share in the future when you are comfortable with it :).
Coincidentally, I awarded you the red rose award on my blog, for being one of the strongest, and one of my most admired bloggers before I read your post, and this post just proves what a strong woman you are; one who is not afraid to show her strengths, but acknowledge weakness, not to be confused with feebleness.
Ada’s last blog post..A beautiful award, from a beautiful lady
I say reflect when you need to and I have a wonderful Mexi-martini recipe for when I don’t want to remember a damn thing. It is all about the balance.
beeker’s last blog post..Produce Cleaner Spray
* BIG HUG * And remember that you are stronger than you think!
Jazz’s last blog post..Mission accomplished?
what’s up Monique. I kind of know how you feel. Often times I want to blog about really really personal stuff, but I bow out and just leave it alone. Sometimes, I write it somewhere and either throw it away or delete it. Just feels good to get it out. I could write a tell all book people wouldn’t believe.
Take care, keep your head up.
Natural’s last blog post..Everything Must Change
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