I am very much afraid of heights. Even watching something high up on TV makes me nauseas.
I wasn’t always like this. My father is a pilot and he used to take me on the most amazing trips in his Cessna. He would often let me co-pilot with him, releasing the controls so I could get a feel for it. I really loved that. I’ve been bungie jumping and sky diving. I used to live in Idyllwild, CA where the balcony of the house was pretty much hanging over a cliff.
And then when I was around 22, I was going down a flight of stairs and had a panic attack. I froze at the top of the stairs in fear and it’s been like that ever since.
It has gotten better over time, I can actually go up and down stairs, but I really freak out before flying and going down hills. Escalators send me into panic overdrive. I hate those things.
I can ride a roller coaster, but I usually cry all the way through, including while I am standing in line. I can’t count the number of kids who have told me “it will be ok lady”. Once I ride it and get a feel for it, I can usually go again without the tears. I still freak out though, and kids still tell me it will be ok… I have to ride with my eyes closed though. Some would think that the anticipation of not knowing would scare me, but I actually find it soothing. If I saw a big drop coming, I’d probably have a heart attack.
So, now you know! 
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
How wonderfully brave you are!!
Most people who are that afraid of a roller coaster would *never* dream of actually going on one.
What makes you do it? I’m dead-curious.
And, whatever the reason, you have my sincere respect for hauling your tear-streaked face up there and onto the ride.
Now… what am I afraid… where can I go and do it?
It’s so cute that the kids tell you, “It will be OK”. Kids are great like that!
I effin LOVE rollercoasters! The bigger the better… bring it on!
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LOL… why is my last blog post always the same?? Strange!
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Jillian » It actually does make me feel better when I see kids who are like “Hey lady, don’t worry!” And I have no frick frackin idea as to WHY you and Angelika’s posts are all screwed up with comment luv. I did notice the other day on someone else’s site that it was pulling one of my posts from over a week ago.
Ken » I have lived a pretty whacky life and after all the BS I have been through, I am determined to not let anything hold me back. And that kind of fear would be something that would hold me back. So, no matter how badly I want to run in the opposite direction, I know I have to see it through.
I love that you still get on the rollercoaster even though you are afraid. I’m not afraid to ride them, but I always ride with my eyes closed lol.
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I’m okay with heights….I get on roller coasters and then close my eyes and pray. My brother flies a Cessna too and he would take me up and I would be fine, even go to sleep. However if I was in something else at that height, I wouldn’t like it. I dont like planes anymore, but I get on them.
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Monique, I hope you shake your fear off soon. Do you think there was an incident that triggered it? I have no clue why I’m afraid of heights, but I took a huge step when I rock-climbed on the side of a cruise ship last year. That was scary! I can’t imagine skydiving or bungie jumping, you’ve earned my respect girl.
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Man o man. That is really shitty - considering you’ve been able to do some pretty awesome things that I’ve only been able to dream of so far (lack of funding, and a little bit of fear). Thanks for sharing this with me (yes, it’s all about me).
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