I am not a drinker and I have never done drugs. The worst I’ve done was sit in the room while a boyfriend smoked a joint and I swear I was doing my best to hold my breath.
When I was younger, my mother was quit candid with me about drugs and alcohol. I saw the addicts on the street corners in the city and knew I never wanted to be like that. I watched family members smoke away dreams and goals. I watched friends and family die horrible deaths due to substance abuse. So, I never touched the stuff…
Ok that’s a lie.
Many moons ago, I was at a party with some friends. We were having a very nice basement party. My friends were boozing it up and I was sitting around being an angel. A friend of mine asked me if I wanted a drink and I said no thanks. She asked a few more times insisting it wasn’t too bad and that I would enjoy it. I caved and took a sip, and then another, and then another.
It was something called Cisco I believe, and tasted like delicious kool-aid. I can’t tell you how much I drank, but I was slamming that shit. Yummmy. My friends cautioned me to slow down, but I didn’t listen.
I woke up the next day, face down on the floor with the worst damn headache ever and vowed to be done with the hooch forever and ever.
About five years later, I won a $75 certificate to Olive Garden so I took a friend of mine for a casual night out. The plan was for me to use a part of the certificate and save some for another day. To my surprise, they told me I had to use it all up on that day or void it forever. I am not sure what I was thinking but I was determined to use all $75 worth, and the only way to do that with two people was to spend it on liquor.
And so I did… on a very empty stomach. They had these cheap mini bottles of champagne that I chugged as if I were at a frat party. It was horrific.
I will tell you it wasn’t a pretty night. And that I never returned to that Olive Garden again. The little that I do recall involved me dancing on a chair, singing along to their elevator music and attempting to slay people with a breadstick. The staff was very kind and laughed at me a lot which was really nice when I was wasted. As I filled my body with food, and reality began to set in I was mortified.
Since then I have stuck to having my 1-2 drinks when I’m out. The recurring memories of my drunkeness have kept me pretty sober and I like that! I never ever want to feel that stupid again.
Last night I watched A&E’s Intervention. The focus was on this alcoholic who was in absolute denial. He insisted he had no problem, that at best he had 2 glasses of alcohol a day, and that he didn’t even do it every day. His liver was in complete failure and he looked like he was on his death bed. In the end he went for treatment, and stayed for the 30 days but was asked to leave due to his refusal to admit he had a problem. I think he was on of the worst cases I have ever seen. He was the real life version of Leaving Las Vegas and it was so very sad.
The closing update informed us that he passed away.
I don’t understand addiction. I honest to God do not get it. I want… no, I need someone to explain it to me. I’m not trying to be funny, I just want to understand what drives someone to keep taking that drink… or even the first step to trying crack or worse. I hate how I feel after I even take Nyquil. I can’t stand prescription drugs because I can’t stand not being in control of myself.
So what exactly makes drugs and alcohol appealing?
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
A good buzz makes everything more fun… and family more tolerable!
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I’ve never been so drunked too. I wanna try puking all over the place. lol.
Hey, that kool-aid taste sounds fun huh.
I don’t know. I don’t like the taste of alcohol. But sometimes when I reeeeeeeeeeallllllllly want to sleep, I’ll take a couple of shots of vodka or something to kick start it, LOL.
If the taste of ALL alcoholic drinks didn’t make me want to vomit, I could see me becoming alcoholic just to pass out & get some rest.
When I was 20 I remember going somewhere with my SIL and everyone was passing a blunt around. I stood there refusing to partake.
Then I met my sperm donor. I tried it. It is nice. Like being drunk without the vomiting or hangover. But it lasted too long. I don’t like that. The last time I smoked I swear there was something else in there. I was super paranoid, ate an ENTIRE pan of brownies & had to call my cousin to come watch Evan (he was about 5) because I was SCARED OF HIM.
Haven’t done it since, LOL. That was freaky. Being seriously afraid of my precious baby like that.
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I see that your last post plugin hates Jillian too. I don’t feel so bad anymore, LOL.
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lol first of all, that’s a really entertaining story and I almost want to demand a video so I could watch you being so drunk. But on to answer your question. There’s nothing logical about addiction, but there is something scientific. Now, I don’t know the exact science behind it all, but when there are some loose wires in a person’s brain the substance (whether it be alcohol or drugs or sex or whatever) connects the wires and makes them feel ‘normal’ or better. But of course, the reality is that it’s all in their head – and it’s actually doing more damage than good. It’s difficult to treat because each person and a different reason for their addiction, whether they know that reason or not. I hope this helps!!
@ fragile heart – no! no video. the last thing I need is a drunken me on You Tube!
@ Angelika – I noticed that as well about Jillian’s posts. And I just can not see you smoking pot. LOL
@ Laami – A lot of my friends say that.. they just want to know what it feels like.
@ Jillian – a buzz is always nice. falling down – not so much.
I don’t know..when people start a sentence with I am not a drinker….just kidding.
I love a drink. I never drink if I have to drive. I have only been uh, not sober, once.
I like to have a drink when I get home more often than I do, but I don’t. I rather eat my calories.
I don’t know what’s so appealing about drinking and drugs Monique. It feels good? Well….
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