I had promised Miss Angelika that I would start responding to comments IN the comments section and I will… but I wanted to this one time say thank you and respond to the comments from You Think You Know #13 in an actual post.
For starters, as I said earlier there is so much more to that whole mess that I didn’t say, but eventually will. It was really hard for me to write even that little blurb about it. But I have always felt my life was an open book and I have nothing to hide, so I might as well share it. Thank you so much for your support, kind emails and comments. It definitely made it a lot easier.
@ Ada - It was indeed one of the hardest lessons to learn. It took years for that to sink in, and even after I left, I doubted that I had made the right decision.
@Periapex - Thank you so much for that compliment.
@ Dani - Maya is right. So often people show up their true colors and we make excuses for it… we look the other way. Now-a-days I follow my instinct. I will never again go against my feelings.
@ Jillian - Someone told me the other day I didn’t watch enough Lifetime Television, and I guess I didn’t. I never saw my mother get hit or anyone else I knew. And those who knew what was happening to me never said to me that it was wrong or for me to get out, they just looked the other way. And as much as I felt it was wrong, I still felt bad for questioning how he expressed “his love for me“.
@ Judi - You are right, we are similar. I love myself now… and as much as I appreciate the learning experience, I think the Monique of today would be in jail, and Asshole would be in the ICU in a coma or covered in dirt with weeds growing across him.
@ Jazz - Thank you! Silence doesn’t solve anything, and if more of us spoke up about it, the more girls who were in my position would know to run the second it happens.
@ Natural - You are right, so many of us get stuck. Why is that? It’s amazing to me now how a man… some scraggly loser, can tell a woman she won’t do better and we believe it. And we stay.
@ Tam - You made me cry!
@ Theda - You’re right. We aren’t stupid, but I sure feel like it sometimes. It is a mental illness of a sort because he needed me and he had problems, and my actions (according to him) provoked his rage, and I was always trying to fix it. Fix him and myself. I know now there wasn’t shit I could do for him.
@ Mike - I think me not marrying him was my saving grace, even after I went back because I strongly believe had we married, I would have never left him.
@ manilenya - But you got out!!! And that’s what counts.
@ Angelika - You sure are right… but it was me almost killing him that caused my common sense to kick in. I was SO CLOSE to doing it.
@ Mimi - I know so many young girls who endure that crap… and they don’t get that it doesn’t have to be him hitting you. If he’s yelling at you and threatening you, it’s all the same. GET OUT! The Asshole started with the yelling, which I said was just anger… he needed space. And that progressed to him hitting the walls and breaking things… and I said he just needed space. And before I knew it, he was breaking me and I still made up excuses for him.
