My mom often tells a story of how when I was around 4 I wanted a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and she told me we didn’t have any. I then turned to her and asked “Are we poor?” To this day my parents practically fall on the floor laughing whenever they talk about it.
Last night, my neice did the exact same thing to my sister. Except she wanted some pepsi and all they had was water.
It’s funny how our perspective on things change over the years. To me now, poor is living in a cardboard box. Anything else, I’m living gooooood.
When I was around 18, I went to live with my birth mother for a bit. I wanted to spend some time in her world and get to know her as a human versus some lady who gave birth to me and walked away. Boy was I in for an awakening.
I went from ritzy town to the projects… literally. In all my life I had never seen a rat, or roaches. One roach yes. Roaches? No. We barely had hot water, and we ate a lot of bread. Bread and cheese. Cheese and bread. They liked adding butter to it. Me, not so much.
We did our laundry at a laundromat… and that was a challenge in itself for me. I was very used to walking my happy ass across a house and putting it in my very own washing machine. I most certainly did not want to share a washer with the general public.
We walked to get groceries. We walked to get breakfast, lunch and dinner. We walked our sick selves to the hospital. We walked to the corner store for Loosies - (1-2 cigarettes because we were too broke to afford a whole pack). We walked everywhere. I really missed my little Honda back at home.
We couldn’t afford a home phone. All calls were made from payphones… which we had to walk to. That was very strange to me since my parents had phones in every room. Including the bathroom. And if we were expecting a call, we had to camp out in front of a phone and hope no one tried to use it.
We watched TV from an antenna. I didn’t even know what an antenna was before then.
As you can see, life wasn’t easy then for my little spoiled self. I didn’t complain much about it then… but I certainly was not a happy camper. It wasn’t until I got out on my own that I realized how good I had it in both worlds. I learned a lot about myself and who I was which allowed me to become to woman I am today…
A really cranky woman who spends her days pissed off and complaining. 
I’m blessed though… and very much loved.
{ 14 comments… read them below or add one }
I bet that was shocking for you!
When my dad was alive, he used to threaten to take me to the projects when I “misbehaved”, LOL.
Then after he died and my mother moved us to the boondocks to be near her family, I saw my first trailer. I saw dogs chained in yards. I saw COWS & HORSE that weren’t in a petting zoo. My freaking uncle has goats in his back yard so he doesn’t have to cut the grass. My grandmother has neighbors who have chickens. I had my first “fresh from the butt of a chicken” egg!
There are a whole lot of things I’ve been exposed to “down here” that I would never have thought I’d encounter before my dad died.
I will never be as well off as my parents were. (Unless I marry for money.)
But I’d rather be my broke ass than the upper middle class snob I would have been had we never moved here.
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I’ve never heard of loosies… we bought tobacco in a can and a roller and of course, the pot smokers I hung out with all had papers, so we rolled our own cigarettes (I was not a pot smoker, loved the smell, not the buzz).
I think everyone should go through a period of being poor. I mean, we are poor now - as in, we don’t have extra money for much of anything. But we do have a lot, so we aren’t really poor. I’ve lived in my car before (not that I recommend it!) and really been poor. I appreciate all we have now.
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Great post, loved it.
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I grew up in the environment that your birth mother has. What kills me the most is that I see myself growing and changing but when I go home everything is still the same [well, we dont use pay phones. Now everyone has pre-paid cell phones]. But what I have learned is the importance of keeping life simple. I dont need a lot mainly because Im not used to having much. The more I have the more I feel like Im at risk to lose.
Whats funny is that some of the elements of what I experienced growing up are what some people strive for. For example, we didnt drive: we walked and took public transportation, things that are becoming the core of the “green cities” movement. Obviously, deliberately living that way as opposed to living that way because you have no choice but it takes some of the edge off when we realize living like this doesnt have to be bad.
Allison’s last blog post..Single Life and Bad Advice
Perspective can change everything, huh?
You’re lucky to have tasted that different world…it makes your current situation much sweeter.
And you are blessed and loved.
Mike Lawson’s last blog post..This Is The One About Traffic.
I didn’t know we were poor until I was in my late 20’s. My mom did a great job taking care of us after my parents divorce. I just got finished telling my own yesterday how sometimes we have to stop and be thankful for what we have because many people have nothing. I’m sure she is, but I hate to hear her complain about what she doesn’t have…it’s nice to speak about the things we do have.
I understood everything you wrote. lol
Natural Woman’s last blog post..Money Monday Tip #17
One often does not realize just how good they have it until they loose something.
Our kids ask that every time we they ask for something, like a Coke, and I say I don’t have the money. They can’t tell the difference between poverty and not having cash on you. I have ended up giving them lectures on what it means to truly be poor. Also starting to have them do some civic type work. Just shocks me because they don’t realize how good they have it. Of course sometimes I forget that too….
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My mom didn’t have a lot of money when I was a kid, but I never needed for anything. My mom used to say the classic, “we’re rich in love.” When you’re a kid, that doesn’t mean much. But as an adult it means a lot. LOL, so right now, I am proudly “rich in love.” And what’s funny is right now I would kill to live at home. Perspective is funny like that. Nice post!
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I, too, had never heard of loosies, but knew many people who rolled their own. It’s great to have a perspective check on where you are and where you’ve been! It’s so easy to lose that perspective sometimes. (And it’s great, because of this post I’m doing that myself, hehe.)
Erin’s last blog post..Sailing On The Stars
It’s quite amazing how something such as that changes your perspective on life. I was never one to want for anything, and yes, i’ve had my share of poorness. I’ve lived in places that are not exactly lower class. it makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like being able to eat food when you’re hungry, drinking water when you’re thirsty.
Quite amazing.
yoshi’s last blog post..Don’t drink the water
I was raised in a middle class suburban family and never was in want for anything. But as an adult on my own, I’ve learned how to live poor. I now live on the East Side of Buffalo (where all the 6 and 11 0′clock news takes place) in a house with a resale value of about 15K, and that’s about how much per year I’ve been living on for the past several years (with the exception of the 16 months I was married to a man with a $10/hour job). I wash my clothes at the laundromat, collect bottles and cans, and eat lots of Raman noodles. Before I was married, I had bunny ears with tin foil for reception and a tv with a dial on the front, but my husband liked to watch tv so I got him the $11.95/month basic broadcast cable and a little 13″ color tv. I still have no use for a cell phone! The current indoor temp in my house is 61°, yesterday it was 58°, not exactly cozy.
I have a friend who makes 50K a year on top of her husband’s 50K and they’re always crying poor. It floors me! Holy cow, If I had that kind of money rolling in, I wouldn’t know what to do with myself!
I just think that a person’s attitude towards money, wealth, poverty, etc. plays a bigger role in how a person lives than the actual amount of money they have in pocket. Granted, there are people who have absolutely nothing but the clothes on their backs, no material possessions, property, or anything - so they are POOR. But there are many who have more than they realize, but have little appreciation for it and they are always coveting what their neighbor has.
I admit, my adjustment from wealthy to poor was difficult, and I made some very stupid financial decisions, not really realizing the value of money, nor how to live without things that I perceived as necessities in life.
Now I consider myself to be extremely blessed. I’m smart, I’m healthy, I own my home, my van, a small business, and have friends and family. OK, so I don’t always have 2 pennies to rub together, but so what? I actually like my life. And I also know that I could lose everything tomorrow.
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I often think people in western developed countries have everything out of perspective. There are millions of people living in Africa without electricity or running water. We should all count our blessings and re-evaluate which things really are blessings.
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i’ve learned alot from the exchange of comments… surely, life is bittersweet… and happiness can’t only be found in the grandeur of things but also from the tiniest details that only a grateful heart could see =) good day!
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