As usual, I had some days off and just slacked my way through them.
Actually, this time I have a valid excuse for not doing anything. I am so sick right now. It’s pure misery. I am NOT looking forward to going back to work tomorrow.
Since my last post I have gotten several comments and emails asking about the hate mail I received so, I am going to try and explain it a bit more without going on and on for days.
As I said in my previous post, I had been blogging about my infertility and my eventual plans to adopt. I was very honest about all of my feelings including how I felt about my own birth mother and it was that honesty that led to an anti-adoption forum linking to my site. I had no idea at that time that there were people who were opposed to adoption. The notion of that seemed outrageous to me. There are so many unwanted children in this world. Where would they go if we abolished adoption?
I started receiving comments on my blog, little insults here and there calling me naive and ignorant about the harm I would be doing to the life of a child if I adopted one. That of course baffled me because I was adopted. I never felt harmed or unloved or unwanted. I was never made to feel different. Naturally, my big mouth had to then make a post about it and called myself a happy adoptee. I have always been elated that I was adopted. I know my birth mother and she is in no way fit to even care for a kitten, let alone a child.
Well, that opened up the floodgates for the freaks to just abuse my site and link me to every anti-abortion site and forum under the moon. I started getting a lot of hate mail from birth mothers who called me baby snatcher because I was infertile.
My infertility brought out the other half of the extremist who claimed I was infertile because I had an STD (rofl) or I was too old and allowed my eggs to rot (I was in my late 20’s at he time). It was God’s plan for me to never have children, so it wasn’t my place to then go out and steal one.
These people in my opinion are insane. They take on kind of a cult mentality where no outcome can be good, and all adoption is evil. Every birth mother grieves for their child. Every child belongs at home with their family. No mother truly ever willingly gives up a child. They would rather a woman have an abortion before giving her child up for adoption. How crazy is that!
I know the system needs an overhaul… I know it needs some fixing… but to abolish it completely makes no sense to me. I feel bad for those who have been hurt by it, but I am not one of them. As I said, I know my birth mother, and she has made no attempts whatsoever to contact me in over 10 years. Not because she doesn’t know where I am, or the memories hurt… but because she doesn’t care.
Anyway, if you google anti-adoption you’ll find most of these quacks with ease. I would post some links here but I am sure you understand why I don’t. I don’t support going to their websites either and feeding their egos with “hits”. But that’s out of my hands.
Now I am going back to being miserable and sick and wasting my day. 
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
Bloody hell, there are a lof of whackos out there.
I’m sorry you were targeted by so many insane people - I can hardly believe that there are people out there who think like that, I’m actually in shock reading that! The most important thing is that a child is happy, healthy and loved - it doesn’t matter if it’s by a foster parent, adoptive parent, biological parent or guardian, the point is the child’s welfare.
Don’t waste your time worrying about the ridiculous comments of a few misguided strangers. I’m sure that most of the world has enough sense to agree with your take on things.
anti-adoption???!!? I never knew there was such a thing. How absurd.
Holy crap! I never knew there was such a thing. My wife and I are starting the adoption process right now - we just finished our home study and are taking our classes.
Serious freaks.
I can’t believe, well I can, that people are so ignorant. I don’t see how it’s their business if you choose to adopt or have your own. They are not taking care of the child. People speak sometimes as if their opinion matters. It doesn’t! Imagine if we all commented on what we really though about people’s decision.
You know what does bug me is when people complain where other people adopt from….they say get an American child or why is this person adopting someone from a different country. Excuse me!! Why don’t YOU adopt an American child. How do you tell someone else where to adopt a child from while you are sitting on your beeehind doing nothing. I looked into adoption myself a few years back and haven’t ruled it out, just now is not the time. I still have the thought with me though….
My thoughts on abortion? It’s a baby when you want it and a fetus when you don’t. People are full of crap sometimes.
Well, that’s just retarded.
I won’t even go into it because I’m still feeling slightly mellow & I hope to keep it that way.
But all those morons need to STFU & stick to their own group of insane radicals and leave the normal people alone!
Hi,I like your point of view me too i plan to adopt 2 child or more maybe 5 years old above in my own country 10 years from now so that i could help some children for their future and they could have called a home.We already talked about it with my hubby because thinking of my way of life before compare right now i think i am blessed so i will pass some of my blessing towards other.Continue your crusading for adoption because there are so many child left uncare with their very own mother.In the future ill be happy be a poster parents from them most especially my country Philippines.
yours truly
asawakomahalko
As a single father of an adopted son, I have to tell you that it was refreshing to read the words of a “happy” adoptee. I, too, have had run-ins with some anti-adoption lunies, and have to tell you that they are truly in the minority.
My son actually had a say in our situation. While he was placed with me in foster care, he expressed his desire to the court to continue his life as my son, so–in a way–I was adopted, too!
I hope my son will have as healthy an attitude as you have when he’s grown.
Thanks for posts like this. Your parents must be so proud of you… well, until they realize what was in that Blockbuster bag.
(Sorry, but that post was too funny!)
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