I had such a fun day today!!!
I am not a fan of birds whatsoever but I decided to suck it up and go to Parakeet Point at the NOLA aquarium. The birds are free roaming and land on your head, arm, back, ass…. you name it. I was beyond freaked out!!
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The desk apparently is stingy, doesn’t have a lot of storage space, whereas I need more storage space. The desk also is really tall, and wants me to put items high up but I am short as hell and would need a step stool to reach up there. The desk is really crowded and likes to be in my face, I like wide open spaces where I have room to work. The desk likes to be junky, I like things to be neat. This desk has no boundaries and things are constantly falling off of it – since as I said – there is no storage space. Therapy has taught me that boundaries are a good thing and I need to start enforcing them. So, as I was sitting here editing some pictures of pomegranates1 – which is really all the desk and I do together these days – I realized with quite a heavy heart that it’s time for me to move on. I am not sure how to break this to the desk…. I don’t want for a replacement to just show up one day and the desk to end up on the curb or something. I was thinking maybe I could maybe start bringing in sections of the new one and let the desk figure out on its own what is going down. Harsh I know, but I have never been good at break ups.
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 I just recently came back from yet another vacation. This time to the south Caribbean. Of course, being gone for 10+ days means that I have even more work waiting for me when I get back. But it’s all good. I am finally in a semi-good place and I don’t feel depression weighing me down as it once did. I still have those bad days but over all, life is good. I am just going to keep taking it one day at a time.
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 In 9 days I am off to visit the Big Apple. I am rather excited, not because it’s a new place for me, but I am hoping it will be what I need to kick my own ass out of this depression. I tell ya what, depression is really damn depressing. Just when I am feeling ok, something happens where I am like ugh. Today I want to crawl back in bed and stay for the next 4 days. And the part that sucks is that NOTHING IS WRONG! I am not sad, mad, nothing………… just in some ridiculous funk that is sucking the life out of me at the most unexpected and unwanted moments. Something else craptastic about being depressed? I have gained 15 pounds in the last 2 months. Lovely. But there is hope on the horizon. My therapist says I am getting better. She doesn’t want to put me on meds because I am a strong person1. I doubt I would even take them if prescribed. I am not even trying to become a numbed out version of myself. Sooooooooooooo, for now I shall go through the motions and use the days of the week as my symbolic medication. Because I know that I am going to be just fine. 
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